Moved To Tears

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and it literally brought tears to my eyes to read it. Maybe because I can relate to it in so many ways. Maybe because I have dear friends who can. Maybe because it's about time someone said this, instead of all the mean and cruel options out there. Either way, it's short, sweet, and well worth the read.
http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html?m=1

As for my feet and running:
My dad talked to the doctor and he said they can give me another shot. I'm going to try another one AND keep wearing the insoles. These SuperFeet are...well...pretty super. They have to be cut to size, but it has been SO worth it. Are my feet completely pain free? No, but I went for an hour run yesterday, then worked a long day, and a two hour hike today and so far, they are holding up really, really well.

I looked at my cute little feet last night when I took my shoes off and was surprised to discover that my arch was back to how it use to be about 15 years ago. I hadn't realized that is was dropping, but apparently it was and obviously, that explains a lot.

The other thing that I realized is that I use to rub my feet a lot, like foot massage. Pretty much every night I would give each foot and each little toes a front to back, top to bottom rub down. I'd make sure my toes were relaxed and that they felt loved and cared for. For whatever reason I had stopped doing that. My toes were freakishly tense and my feet felt like they were crying the first time I massaged them. We are getting reacquainted and I must say, it has been very pleasant.

Feet: often ignored but always the bearer of all our pressures, literally.

Take care of you feet, for they can carry only as far as you care for them. 

Today's Foot Report: Partly Cloudy

Yesterday, things were feeling pretty good in the foot department so I went for a short little run. Like...really short (1.5 miles). Foot felt fine. This morning I woke up and stepped out of bed and...sad to report...foot hurt. I put on shoes to go do some fun stuff with a friend and about two hours later,  foot hurt even more. I went to REI to look for good shoes and by the end of THAT...yep...even worse. 

So I bought some good insoles. 

And came home and rested my foot. 

And got mad. 

Stupid nerves with neuromas. Stupid hurting. 

And now I am ready to cut my insoles to size, slip them into my running shoes, go running with them, and pray they help. If I have to numb myself with Motrin for the next two weeks til this race is done, so be it.

But I am really, really hoping the insoles make the difference. If they help even a little bit, I will get some to go in every pair of shoes I own. 

This is the brand my doc recommended (Superfeet.) I tried a couple out and went with the blue (each color is different depending on how high your arches are, etc etc...)  I also indulged in a pair of rather expensive running socks. No clue if that will make a difference but I figured the only thing it could hurt was my bank account. 

Here's to trying new things and PRAYING they work. 

It Doesn't Matter What You Do...

...as long as it's ore than what you did before.
Like walking? Try this on for size:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib3Duz_6a9M
I'm serious.
I'ts fun.
I can't dance for crap, but when I go out for a jog, I listen to music and...sometimes...I just can't help it. I HAVE to dance while jogging. It happens to be incredible liberating, and fun. I am sure people who see me are wondering if I am having some kind of a seizure, but I hope the big grin across my face puts their mind to rest a little.
All I'm saying is, move more than you use to.
And if you can throw some dancing in there too (even if you look weird) then hey, even better.

So Far, So Good...

A little over 24 hrs post cortisone shot (a HUGE thank you to Dr. Jaramillo in Orem, Ut.) and so far I am feeling a little bit better. After walking dogs today I think I am going to need the insoles as well, but at least I am not in a huge amount of pain.

One plus that this foot problems and the frustration has brought front and center is this: BE FLEXIBLE. I don't just mean physically (although I need to work on that too), I mean mentally. Sometimes, crappy things happen and force us to set new goals. IF it turns out I can't run anymore, it doesn't mean I can't still be a very fit and happy person. I have two sister's who can't run again. Like ever. And they do a GREAT job being fit and healthy. So...if I can't run, I am working on remembering all the other things I want, and can do. I am remembering all the things I have NOT focused on while focusing so much on being ready to run this race. Sometimes, things beyond our control force us into looking into, and remembering, other things we can do, other ways we can grown and excel. So yeah, this has been a major pain (literally) but it hasn't been a total loss, and for that I am grateful.

On another note:
After reading a lot online, I have learned that shoes a-la Birkenstock and Earth brand are really helpful for neuroma's. I have one pair of Jerusalem stompers (aka Birkenstock sandals) but think an investment in a couple more pairs of this kind of shoes (reverse heals) may be worth it. I happen to find them EXTREMELY comfortable and cute, and yes, I realize I stand with a small crowd with the "cute shoes" part of that opinion.

They can be pricey, so it's time to start combing the internet for bargains, and saving.
And time to remember and include, other things I CAN and WANT to do.

So...been a rough couple of week? Yep. Turned it into something good? Yep on that too!

I have wanted these Birks for YEARS!!! 

  

Oh...these are pretty....

And these? PERFECT for work. Even though they aren't my fave, I do like them (I have a thing for red shoes) and they are what I need...

Trying Something New

Tonight, I'm trying a yoga class. A previous coworker teaches the class and offers it for a donation, not a set price, which is nice. I have no idea what to expect or if I will like it or be any good (ok actually I'm pretty sure I won't be good at it but I'm ok with that) but I am hopeful.

OAN: I have not been able to run in almost a week. I was really frustrated and basically didn't work out all this past week. Turns out, that's a really bad idea. I didn't sleep well. I was in a horrible mood. I did not handle stress well one tiny bit. Why no running? Because my foot has been absolutely killing me. Sunday I met a very kind foot doc who gave me some tips and let me know that if I wanted a cortisone injection he'd give it to me at no charge. This is a HUGE bonus, since I currently don't have insurance. I was going to just go with insoles but after completing one hike, I could barely walk. So...cortisone shot it is. Tomorrow it happens. I am hoping to be back in the running shoes by Saturday. In the mean time....yoga class, elliptical, weights, bike, and whatever else I can come up with. I was kind of a pouty lame-o last week. That kind of attitude is not going to get me where I want to be.

If it doesn't work, that will be a total bummer, but it doesn't mean I can't reach other goals.
(I'm just really hoping it does what it's supposed to do.)

What's hurting my foot? 

This:

It's a painful little lump growing on my nerve on my foot. 

Stupid neuroma. 

I Have Bad Knees, Bad Back, Bad Foot...

...and after watching this, am officially out of excuses for not working harder or trying new things. Give it a quick look see. Eve if you are in great shape, it's a pretty cool little video :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

To Do Or Not To Do? The Whole 30 That Is..m

I need a kick in the pants, nutritionally speaking that is. One can work out all one wants, but without proper nutrition, one (and by one, in this case, I mean me) will not see the results one wants, rather desperately, to see.

See, there's something that happens when one eats well. I know I have mentioned this before, but I think it warrants saying again. So many other things fall into place when  healthy eating and living are a focus. Time management? Yup. You can't eat well without planning ahead. Sleep better? Naturally. Have more energy? Duh. See faster results with exercise? That too.

So, do I go back to my initial experiment of 30 days of nothing but whole, fresh foods, the majority of calories from plant based foods, or do I try something different?

My mom and sister are doing an eating plan called "The Whole 30." From what I can tell, it's a paleo-based way of eating. What does this mean? No grain. No dairy. No legumes. No sugar or sugar substitutes. Nothing processed, pre-packaged etc etc. One thing I would need to alter a little is, no table salt. I HAVE to have iodine. So what CAN you eat? Meat. Veggies. Fruit. Nuts (but not peanuts, they are technically a legume). Seeds. Eggs....yeah that about sums it up. Apparently doing this for 30 days can render some impressive results. One area it's supposed to help is with inflammation. I could use that right now.

This is really similar to what I did before, except I allowed myself grains at breakfast, some legumes, protein mixes from plant sources, no sugar but I did eat stevia and a little honey, and minimal amounts of dairy (milk at breakfast, a little bit of cheese, and yogurt, no ice cream.) I ate (and still do for the most part), foods whose ingredients my grandparents would recognize. I saw some great results! And I saw them really quickly. I occasionally eat sugar now, but am realizing that pretty much ANY refined sugar is too much. I eat more grains than I did during my 30 days of experiment. I can honestly say I am not eating as many veggies as I need to be. And I am starting to see that it is making it harder for me to lose weight, my allergies are getting worse (is it seasonal, or diet related?), and I don't have as much energy. My skin still looks good but not as good as it did, and I am not managing my time or money nearly as well. Slackin'.

Clearly, I would benefit greatly from going back to that way of eating.

My ponderings lately include: Would I see MORE benefits from the Whole 30 than from what I ate? Do I have it in me to do the Whole 30? Can I afford it? Will it be THAT different from what I already did and would I see better results? I don't know. Would I like to see fast results in a reduction of belly fat (a change that fans of this ways of eating claim to see quickly)? Uh, yeah. Most women I know would. And the other benefits I hear about would lovely as well.

Frankly, I just don't know if I can afford it, and I don't know if I can give up yogurt, cheese, breakfast grains, and stevia. But just for 30 days? Maybe...

(On that note, I have a second interview tomorrow for a higher paying job. How much higher? Don't know yet, but if it's high enough...The Whole 30 would be a much more reasonable option.)

Anyway, I am thinking about doing it. It's NOT a "no carb" way of eating. Fruits and many veggies have carbs. It's just a minimalist way of eating.

All I know is, I need to change what I'm doing. Things are stagnant and I do not like that. It's unacceptable.

(this is rambling so...I'm just going to end now and go think off-line...)

Metatarsals, Odd Habits, New Joy!

I went running last night. 5 miles. Rarely do I have what I consider to be a "bad run," but man...this one was pretty much crap. (Don't worry, we'll to the joy part of all of this soon.) It was hot outside (I not like heat.) I chose to run in a place I usually don't go (SUPER wealthy neighborhood near by, where it's quiet and people drive slowly), and for whatever reason that seemed to throw me off as well, and I was really, really tired. I had not slept well at all the night before. The runners high I love and seek like a junkie never happened. Total bummer.

Also, my metatarsals are killing me! (What on earth are metatarsals you ask? The balls of my feet. They hurt. A lot.) This makes running difficult and painful, and in an effort to ease the ouch, I adjust the way I run, which then throws EVERYTHING else out of whack. *sigh* I hear they make insoles for this problem. I think I shall get some. STAT! (Keep reading, happy part gets here eventually.)

Something else I realized I do without even being aware of it? I curl the toes of my left foot under. Under what? Under my foot. While I run. And walk. And just sit around. I just do it for some weird reason. I had NO idea I had this odd little habit/quirk, nor do I know why I have it, but I do. I noticed it the other day when I was running and was like, "What are doing?! Stop that! It freaking HURTS!" Then I noticed I was doing it at work while sitting and waiting for lunch. Woke up the other night to go to the bathroom, crawled back into bed and...yup, curled toes under. Turns out, this is a bad thing to do when one is running. I MUST end this, or I seriously think I will do some bad damage to my cute little toes. (Yes I DO think my toes are cute. In fact, I pretty much love feet in general.) This for sure explains the really weird pain I have been feeling in the toes of my left foot, and only the left. (People, and I include myself in this observation, are kind of weird and quirky.) Guess being more fit and active forces us to learn things about outselves we otherwise NEVER would have noticed.

Ok now for the HAPPY:

So what's this new joy I speak of? It's the day after a good work out, initial walk past the mirror first thing in the morning, moment. Maybe this just happens to me but...I swear I am skinnier in the morning. Leaner looking or something. ESPECIALLY if I have exercised the night before. So, first thing in the morning, as I stumble to the bathroom, hair all messy and mouth in dire need of tooth brush attention, I am often pleasantly surprised to the point of stopping to do a double take, by the image I see reflected back to me. Cellulite, going away. Muscle tone, becoming more prominent. Tummy muscles, visible in some areas. Legs, strong... You get the idea. Room for improvement? Yes, but overall...happiness with how things are shaping up. This moment beings me much joy, and is part of what keeps me going. It's a lovely way to start the day!

Another little moment of joy? When I feel that my saddle bags are more the "day-pack" size vs the "two week trek in the Himalaya's" they use to be. I seriously was so shocked by their reduction I had to go check in the mirror to make sure I had not "lost" part of my upper thigh/butt area on the hiking trail or while running. (Now that I think about it, that's probably EXACTLY where I left them.) It was like overnight, *POOF* *CHANGE*!! The exercise fairy godmother waved her magic muscle wand over my butt and put it back where it was about 10 years ago and at the same time performed some magical disappearing act on my thighs! Have I worked hard for this change? Absolutely. Was I still surprised by it? Yep. Still...it's pretty awesome and fills me with MUCH joy to see some huge pay offs for my hard work.

 (Personally I think the Workout Fairy would be a little bit more fit, but that's just me.)

So why exercise? Because it brings you joy in unexpected moments. (True that it is also causing some pain right now, but really, the pay off is SOOOO totally worth it! Promise. It is.)

SEE?! Dang it! Just caught myself curling my toes under! So weird...