Don't Call Me Pumpkin...

(WARNING: Spell check it not working. My apologies in advance.)

I started a new job recently. I was warned fairly early on that there was one staff member in particular who would, no doubt, hit on me eventually. Lovely. Stuff like this always makes me feel and act in a way that is really pathetic and I generally end up looking like an idiot.

What does this have to do with weight loss?

Lemme 'splain...

Becoming fit, losing weight, the whole thing, is NOT just a physical experience. It is also mental and emotional. It is a struggle some days, and a battle others. It can often push one to confront old, deep emotional crap that has sat dormant for years. It can shed light on issues one thought one had totally under control.

One issue it brings up for me is that a thin, and particularly fit, version of me is also a more attractive version of me (and I believe this is true for most people.) More attractive seems to lead to more attention, particularly from the opposite gender. In the past I have, for whatever reason, worn a target only visible to not too kind people. It has been painted on my back and forehead and it must have said, very clearly to some, right in the bulls eye, "No seriously, please, use me." Despite my best efforts, I just couldn't shake it til a little while ago.

It seemed to me that being fat painted over that bulls eye. Or maybe just hid it a little better under the layers and rolls.

Ok...back to the coworker...

Yesterday I was filling out a paper that stated who would be working where and with whom. Said coworker was waiting to see where he would be and was doing that awkward (for me anyway) small talk thing (awkward because I am pretty bad at small talk.) And then, out of nowhere...he called me "pumpkin." Without even skipping a beat, I said, "You'll be in Boys side ISU (intensive support unit) and don't call me pumpkin." I said it assertively , in a no-nonsense, strictly busness, kind of a way. Please note that this guy has has guns (meaning biceps) the size of a small country and is generally speaking, physically intimidating. Didn't stop me from setting a clear boundary. He apologized and said it just slipped out because my name starts with a "P." I just looked at him, again with a no-nonsence kind of an expression and said, "Kind of a lame excuse. It's unprofessional and unacceptable. Call your coworkers, male and female, by their names." He mumbled "...k..." and stared at the ground.

Target: fading even more that it has the past couple of years.
Excellent.
And this interaction with this coworker, for whatever reason, felt like a blew a big ol' chunk outta the center of that damn bulls eye.

I refuse to continue to be unfit and unhealthy.
I refuse to be a doormat, to be treated poorly, and to be used.
I refuse to let the fear of that happening stop me from accomplishing goals and leading the lifestyle I have always wanted.

Becoming fit is a process, and it's not just physical. It's mental, emotional and spiritual as well (if you believe in that anyway, which I do.) I am discovering that as I become more invested in one area of my health, the rest have to fall in line in order to be successful. This process is hard work. It is pushing me to grow in ways I did not for see. And I am grateful for that.

And seriously...don't call me pumpkin.

Pantie Problem (it's totally "G" rated, trust me)

So, obviously, when one is eating well and exercising, ones body changes shape. Some of those ways are small, some are big. Sometimes the changes happen slowly over time, and some are kind of rapid. 

There is one that has been slowly happening and I haven't really noticed. Then, while on a run the other day, I was forced to notice. 

As I jogged along, I began to get the distinct impression that my top of my behind was feeling a breeze, as if it was no longer covered by my panties. "Huh...that's...unexpected," I thought to myself, as I plodded along. About a half a block later I noticed that almost ALL of my butt was feeling the breeze and that the front of me was a well. 

This is when I realized that my undies were falling off. All the way. And pretty much the only thing keeping them up was the crotch of my running shorts. I tried to nonchalantly inch them back up as I ran  along side some fairly heavy traffic, but it became rather clear, rather quickly, that that was simply NOT going to work and more drastic measures were needed. (I can only imagine what I looked like doing THAT weird wiggle/jog combo movement.) I tried ignoring it, but the longer I went on, the further down my thighs they inched and it was about to get REALLY obvious to anyone who glanced my way that I had a pantie malfunction. 

So...I just accepted the moment for what it is, stuck my hands down my shorts, and in a very unlady like manner, pulled my under clothing back to their proper position, where they stayed just long enough for me to make it back home. 

I assumed this problem was simply because that pair is in need of being tossed out. 

Then I went running on Thursday. Repeat above scenario. Another pair bites the dust. 

Then I went to work last night and today: two more pairs have been deemed worthless. 

I finally realized today that it's not that they are old and stretched out unmentionables. It's that I am simply no longer the size required to keep them in place. I am completely ok with this. 

Bummer (no pun intended.) Guess I'll have to get some new panties!

(I tell you this because I honestly had not considered the fact that, along with getting healthy and stuff comes a need for new under garments. So, if you are doing the same thing and as of yet have not had a pantie problem, just know that it's on it's way....it WILL get you at unexpected moments. Consider yourself warned...)

Just Keep Swimming (or walking, or running or cycling...)

Whatever you decide to do, whether it be swimming, running, biking, walking, hiking, yoga-ing (not a word but whatever), just keep doing it.

*No the fastest? That's ok. Neither am I. And it's not the point.
*Have almost ZERO flexibility? Same here. This area seems to elude me no matter how much a stretch, but the point is, to just keep at it.
*Break a sweat and lose your breath after two seconds? That's ok. It's better than not breaking a sweat at all and using the whole "I have asthma" thing as an excuse. (Btw, I really do have asthma. So does Jackie Joyner Kersee. You know...the gold metal winning decathlon Olympic athlete.)  

That's Jackie. She rocks. And that's what some people with asthma chose to do.

*Feel like fat ol' loser because everything shakes with every step? I can so totally relate. But, just think about how much better you're doing than you would be if you'd stayed home and dinked around on facebook or watched tv.
*Don't have the motivation? Dig deep. Find some. Even if it's to walk around your block. Just DO something. Walk the dog or borrow the neighbors. Get some friends together and make a social thing out of it.
*Don't think you can? Well, you're wrong. You so totally can. (I know I posted this before, but it applies SO well here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448) I love it when he says, "Just because I can't do it today, doesn't mean I can't do it someday."
*Think you're not worth it? Wrong again. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Seriously, You do.
*Think it's too late and the damage has been done so why try? This is actually not true. Every time you chose a healthier option than what you chose in the past, you undo damage on a cellular level.
*Convinced you're too old? Pfft...please. The older you are the bigger the reason to move more, ESPECIALLY to lift weights!!!

*Think you don't need to cause you're already skinny? Lucky you. You were blessed with the genetic make-up of a thin person. That does NOT mean you are a healthy person. Thin = healthy? NO!!!! Thin = body type. Health is entirely different. How are you cholesterol levels? How about your body fat percentage? How's your blood pressure? Do you struggle with depression, anxiety or other mental health issues? Are you strong and confident? Do you radiate "healthy, happy person"? Even if you're naturally thin, just keep moving anyway. Everything inside of you will thank you. 

No matter how little you are doing, just keep on going. Every time you go out, set a goal to go a little bigger. Increase bit by bit.

At the start of the year I couldn't run for more than 20 seconds at a time, then I had to either stop and catch my breath or walk. I wanted to give up. I wanted to stop and never start again and again. Sometimes I would sing that annoying song from "Finding Nemo," the one Dory sang when Nemo's dad was getting down and depressed: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

In case you don't know what I'm talking about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

So come on people! Get moving! And once you start, just keep swimming (or walking, or running, or cycling or whatever!!!) 

Excuses Excuses No More

A friend of mine posted a status on Facebook about a patient of hers who had a long list of reasons they could not exercise.

Here's my thought on that: 

If we all looked for reasons to NOT do things, anything (clean the house, call our parents or siblings, get out of bed in the morning...you get the idea), nothing would ever get done. 

Often we have to have a compelling enough reason to push us to do something. Do I want to go to work every day? No, I certainly do not. BUT, I realize and accept that if I don't, I won't be able to keep the apartment I love, eat the food I want, etc etc. So, I go to work.

Do I want to go running when it's time? Not always. And trust me I am a pro at finding reasons NOT to exercise. It's a skill I fine tuned over the course of the last 18 years (age 20-38.) But eventually, the reality of the alternative became to resemble the reality of what my life would be like if I didn't go to work.

My heart and arteries would cease to function properly.
My blood pressure would cause me to have a stroke.
My body would cease to respond to insulin, causing me to develop diabetes.
I would eventually lose my limbs from that disease, assuming I had not already had a stroke or heart attack.
Overall, health wise, things were looking grim.

I had not done a good job at taking care of my number one asset: my body. And I had every reason/excuse in the world not to exercise (bad back, bad knees, exercise gave me migraines, my hips hurt like crazy and the list goes on and on.) I decided to do it anyway.

And here's the thing...

My parents are in their 60's. My Dad recently ruptured a disc in his back. My Mom has Parkinson's. Talk about two people who have every reason to throw in the proverbial towel. Instead, my Dad ran a half marathon on Saturday and my Mom does CrossFit five days a week. Trust me, your excuses, and mine, are invalid.

Instead of looking for every reason NOT to exercise or eat healthy, try, just for thirty days, to find every reason why you CAN, and WILL exercise and eat healthy. Just 30 days. It will make a huge difference in your attitude about SO SO SO many things. You will surprise yourself at how much you are capable of doing. You may find that you are, overall, happier. Excuses for other things in your life will start to fade as well. Just 30 days of no excuses. After that, you can do whatever you want. But I have a sneaky suspicion that you will be pleased with the outcome.

My First Half Marathon

Yesterday I did it. I completed my first half marathon. I had to walk parts of it, but still, I finished. (I would like to note that the reason I had to walk was because of my foot killing me, not due to a lack of physical fitness.) My Dad and I did it together and it was, for lack of a better description, awesome!

It started with an early morning wake up call, at 3:30, a quick breakfast of toast (too nervous to eat much else) and a drive to the mall, which was packed with well over 3,000 runners. We all loaded up on buses that took us up the canyon to the starting point. It was chilly and breezy and people huddled around fire pits to stay warm. Everywhere you looked, there were smiling, healthy, fit people. We stretched, blew noses, and then were herded to the starting line by the volunteers.

The first part was pretty easy and we were able to run and keep up good conversation. We saw one runner down, she hurt something and couldn't put any weight on her leg at all. Kinda spooked me, but hardly a reason to stop. Up the only incline of the race, we kept going, walking when needed. Paused briefly to get a photo in front of Bridal Veil Falls, then back to running/walking.

There were other groups that were doing the same thing as us, run some, walk a little, and we'd pass them, then they'd pass us.

Bathroom stop, and the first full marathoners zoomed past, like gazelles. They made it look so easy and effortless. They were clearly VERY fit.

Back to running.

The first female marathoner clipped past. She was also fit, but not thin or wimpy looking like some that were going to come along later in the race. Nope, she was solid, muscly, strong and impressive.

As we neared the finish line, I knew I wanted to cross it running, and I had a time in mind I wanted to beat (and a specific runner.) So for the last two miles I decided to run, sore foot be damned. I went as fast as I dared, at a pace I felt like I could maintain, and I beat the time I wanted to, and the runner, finished, and...got my finishers metal!!!

After, I kind of had that, "Oh crap I am going to pass out" feeling. Found a chair and sat, with my head down, til I could feel my teeth, feet and hands again, and my vision returned to normal.. Then, a massage on my lower legs and feet.

Boarded the bus with other tired, stinky runners, back to my parents for pickle juice, blueberries and tapioca pudding. Then home...where I slept for four hours. (Stopped at a fast food drive through to get a lemonade because I was EXTREMELY thirsty and fell asleep waiting for the guy in front of me to place his order. Yep. I was a sleepy girl.)

All in all it was a wonderful day. I have been inspired in a huge way to do more, exercise more, run more, have fun more, try new things...

Mostly though, it was a great way to spend a Saturday morning with my Dad :)