Aaand the Battle Begins...Again

Everyone has struggles in life. 

Everyone. 

It would be easy to say that mine is with weight. But in all honesty, weight is not the issue. There are other things that cause weight to be the issue. That's like looking at someone who has a brain tumor and saying, "The problem is all these headaches you're getting." 

Being unhealthy and overweight doesn't happen all by itself. There are many contributing factors. Everyone has their own special formula that makes them the way they are, whether that be fat or thin, fit or unhealthy. For some people it may look like this:

Genetics + healthy eating habits = tall, lean and generally healthy but no strength

Or...

Genetics + unhealthy eating habits + generalized anxiety disorder = freakishly high blood pressure

Or...

You get the picture.

The combinations are endless. The factors that go into the equation are limitless. The factor that is currently holding me back is the predisposition towards depression. It's a beast of a thing to battle. It sucks you of your desire to do much of anything. At all.

 

Eat healthy? No thank you. I prefer brownies, root beer and pop corn if you please. 

Exercise? I will. Tomorrow. I am tired and am hurting in weird ways but mostly, I am just really dam tired. All the time.

I don't want to go back on medication. Every year in August it hits and every year I start meds again. And every year I hate it. (And for some reason, every year I forget that his happens and am always taken back by it a little bit when it does.) 

This year I shall attempt to beat the beast on my own, focusing solely on using the tools I have at my disposal (minus meds) to see myself through. What are those tools? The knowledge I have about healthy eating. The good habits I have been forming all year. The abilities I now have to be an exercise queen. My killer sense of sarcasm, humor, wit and ability to deal with bumpy roads. I may be asking for help. I may be asking for encouragement. I may be asking for more social activities. I am really, really good at faking "I'm ok, seriously." Don't believe me til about January or February. That's usually when it starts to fade again. Stick with me people. I can do this, but I'm pretty sure I can't do it on my own. 

And so the battle...BEGINS!!!!

(Yes, I know that depression is a chemical problem with the brain. I know that meds are often needed. I don't want to take them because they make my blood pressure spike and I prefer NOT to have a stroke. I know this goes against most medical advice out there. I am VERY aware. I am aware that depression can get dangerous and I DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, recommend that anyone else try this without talking first to a doctor. That having been said, I'm giving it shot anyway. We'll see how it goes. And I also know that if it gets too bad, I will go back on meds for a few months.)