Messy

Tonight at work was a drama queen night. For some reason, well over half the girls I work with had emotional break-downs. Nine teenage girls, in tears, wailing, and looking for someone else to solve their dilemma. Sorry ladies. My job is to teach you how to solve them on your own, not do it for you.

Plus...I sort of had a melt down of my own earlier...

I screwed up at work. In a semi-big way. My coworker caught it before the mistake grew into anything to horrible and by doing so, prevented drama of the employee/supervisor type. She pulled me aside and said it's not like me to be so forgetful and am I ok.

Uh...no I am not.

At least not at work.

I can't stand clear as mud directions, roles, and expectations. Indecision drives me bonkers. And this is exactly the problem at my job.

This make me feel like life is a mess.

When life feels messy I become messy. My car, apartment, my hair, my thoughts become unkempt. My sleep becomes erratic, which makes the rims of my eyes red (not an attractive look on anyone.) The stress of it all effect my health (What's this I feel? A sore throat and swollen glands on my neck? Nice.)

Solution? I'm not sure it's anything I personally can solve.

On the plus side, I can run again. Do I have have some kind of weird growth in my femur that isn't very comfortable? Yeah, but so far it looks harmless. The crappy hips are actually caused by old back injuries, easily solved with physical therapy.  This is excellent news!

And right now it looks like the South Dakota job is on the top of the list (decision is good.) I like knowing this, despite it not being my first choice of places I'd like to live.

See? Not everything in my life is messy.

Just the part that pays me, that's all.